A strange coincidence at AHHH’s

There are novelty stores in California called AHHH’s. They have lots of fun, borderline worthless things. So of course, our whole family loves to go there. Today we went to AHHH’S for Mother’s Day.

The reason we went there was because Darby is a saint. Now I know that may sound strange considering that AHHH’s has a whole corner that we have to work hard to make sure that our kids do not see because it’s the kind of place you’d visit before a bachelor’s party. (Note to Darby’s mom: We do a very good job at it, the kid’s have never and won’t see this place.) But Darby received $75 for Mother’s Day from a very generous relative. She proceeded to give half of it to charity as an example for the kids, and then split the other half and gave it to Lyric and Ollie so they could buy something at AHHH’s. Since we’ve had to tighten the belt financially we haven’t been able to buy the random little fun gifts for them we normally like to, and they’ve pretty much given up asking for stuff while we’re out. (Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you!)

So yes, that’s Darby. I lucked into marrying her at a young age, not really knowing the kind of mother to my children that I’d be getting in the deal. At the age of 19, such things don’t really come into play as much as they ought, so again – I know I got lucky here. I have the most special kids in the world, and I know that Darby is responsible – directly responsible – for a ton of who they are.

The kids each wrote books for her, and the things they wrote about her, unprompted, made me proud of everyone involved. My favorite quote from Ollie’s book, (entitled “Ollie ♥’s Mommy” in case you want to add it to your wish list on Amazon) was “Don’t evr tell me I don’t love mommy.” I like the brashness of it, the almost threatening nature mixed with, of course, the irresistibly popular tender love for mommy. This guy would make a great character in a movie.

The highlights of Lyric’s book, entitled “My Love For Mommy (Cannot Be) Captured in Words and Pictures” (I tell you, this 9 year old is a more creative writer than most people writers I know) included “I don’t deserve you!” and “Tea never tastes very good unless I drink it with you!”

There’s a lot of love in this house – where ever this house may be (delaware? maryland? palisades? topanga? pennsylvania? who knows!) and it makes me feel honored to be counted among this particular band of vagabonds.

So, there is a final bit to this story which ties up all the seemingly random elements – AHHH’s, kids, young marriage. While checking out, there were two impulse buy books placed on the counter. One was called “Your Fortune by Name” and the other “Your Fortune by Birthdate.” I looked up my name in the first, and this is what it said:

Now normally such “fortunes” are very positive and non-specific – like, “You are bright, talented, and your breath smells like cotton candy,” so just about anyone would read them and think, “Yes, that’s exactly me. They really CAN read fortunes!” But it’s pretty risky to put something like “You will marry young” into a fortune book, because I’m pretty sure not all Jasons in the world are getting hitched at the age of 19. I showed the book to Darby and she thought it was odd, too. Unfortunately, her name wasn’t common enough to get a listing, so we turned to the Fortune by Birthday book. And look what we found when we looked up her birthdate.

What are the chances? I mean, really?? What are the chances. We checked other names and dates, none of them said anything about marrying young. Strange, right? (Let’s not comment on the fact that it said Darby would be happy while I would experience initial, ahem, difficulties.

Love you, Darby. I promise I’ll break up with the mistress now. And I mean it this time.