The Water Bandit

Behold the power of narrative! Sure, a day camp with games, and songs, and activities, and swimming would be fun. But add in the mythology of “The Water Bandit,” a shrouded mysterious figure who can show up at any moment, ready to douse children and run off, and you’ve got a “must attend” week long event.

We just wrapped up a successful “Water Week,” in the day camp I’m running. (On a Thursday? Yes, I want some time to catch up with friends and work on other things, you know!) And this was the day when the children captured and unmasked that dastardly fiend, The Water Bandit.

As you can well imagine. These images – snapped at the scene of one such unexpected attack, were scrutinized for hours by the campers. These children between 4 and 12 checked every little detail. They claimed it was “too skinny to be a boy,” and “too fast to be” my brother Jonathan (which Jonathan does not appreciate. Someone made the observation that he was wearing “Drew-like” shoes, and my daughter Lyric insisted he was wearing HER sunglasses.

Who could the Water Bandit be?

Well today, the kids finally cracked the code. It was none other than Shane Palkovitz. And despite an elaborate series of misdirections on the part of counselors, which included multiple red herrings, a fake water bandit, and even framing another person with a piece of Bandit clothing, most of the campers correctly guessed it before we hunted him down and unmasked him. They’re smart, those kids.

Looking back at past Water Bandits, this one, dressed all in red (except on the day of his capture, when a false Water Bandit wore red and the real Water Bandit wore brown), was certainly worthy of his predecessors. Among the best Water Bandits in the past, there was the Water Bandit who showed up at Fair Hill in a truck with two sidekicks – Hydrogen Harry and Liquid Larry, and ambushed us from the back of a truck with multiple water balloons. There was the original Water Bandit – who completely terrified the kids because we hadn’t, ah, warned them that a strange man wearing a snorkel mask might break from the woods and attack them. Lesson learned.

Then there was the saddest Water Bandit, poor Rebekah (also known as the star of the Electric Chainsaw Massacre,) who got too close to the campers early on. My youngest sister grabbed Rebekah’s cape with a iron grip and wrested her to the ground, twisting the Water bandit’s knee in the process. Yes, we all saw firsthand the dangers the Water Bandit faced in order to entertain and splash children.