Polite yet firm

I would like to let everyone in on a secret. Well, maybe not so much a secret as a tip. A shard of wisdom. And here it is.

When you are wronged when dealing with a company, don’t jump right into getting angry and forceful. In fact, try not to get there at all. In your dealings with them, stay completely polite, yet completely firm.

You see, when you get emotional and exhibit angry, you are punching back (metaphorically, hopefully!). You are returning a wrong with a wrong. You are creating an offsetting penalty. And in the end, normally, you will not get what you deserve. Because you are showing the company that you are not the kind of customer they want to keep anyway. They will actually be happy to see you go.

Today I had to go back to Target because their clerk wasn’t paying attention and gave me the wrong game yesterday. I hadn’t opened it or anything, and I just needed to do a simple exchange. But when I went to customer service, I was informed that because I bought the game as part of a special “buy 2, get 1 free” promotion, that refunds would be given at $10 less than paid. In other words, he as saying I was going to still have to pay $10.

Now you know, and I know that this is wrong. They made the mistake, and that mistake shouldn’t cost me $10. In fact – I’m the one who had to face a disappointed sick girl last night, and had to drive all the way back to rectify their mistake. If anything, they owe me $10.

So of course you could sympathize with a guy for immediately jumping into angry mode. But see, the customer service guy was just telling me what his machine was telling him. While the situation was frustrating, it wouldn’t have been right of me to unleash on him. I would have been adding my wrong to their wrong and probably wouldn’t have gotten my way.

Instead, I very nicely said, “Oh, well, I think that’s because it thinks I want a refund, when actually I just want to exchange so I can get the game I asked for instead of the one I was given. If you don’t know how to process it that way, do you think you could ask a manager?” Now see, I didn’t do this just because I wanted to be a nice guy. (Even though that is the case.) And I didn’t do this just because I knew this poor clerk wasn’t trying to be difficult. (Even though that is is the case, too.) I did it this way because I didn’t want to pay $10 more, and I know from experience that this is the best way to get the best result. People want to help you if they think you’re a good guy who’s getting a raw deal. If they think you’re a jerk, they don’t care as much.

And sure enough, the manager came along, the clerk explained the problem as if he were on my side, and it all worked out. And there you have it, people. Be nice, but don’t back down. And eventually you should get your way in 90% of cases.